Before embarking on the SAMSN 8-week group counselling sessions, I casually mentioned that I would journal a blog post after each week, summarising my experiences. However, as the two-hour, week one session concluded, I found myself in a deliriously gobsmacked and forever changed state of mind. It was then I decided to keep those eight weeks entirely for 'us.'
I want to acknowledge the men in this group for their incredible courage and absolute resilience. The strength each one of them mustered, on their own, over decades to fight, adapt, evolve, and ultimately survive their own childhood sexual abuse. Growing up with the unyielding bullets their trauma shoots at them every fucking day is a monumental task. I was in awe. I was humbled. I was not alone.
This was the first time I’d spoken of my story to an audience that was also there to share their stories for the first time. Every man in this group is here because they survived. There is an enormous power that comes from surviving. What this group of men gave me was the ability to see it, to feel it, and to share in this experience for the first time. It knocked my fucking socks off!
And then came the flood of 'what ifs.'
What if childhood sexual abuse wasn’t so taboo?
What if we had supportive and trustworthy adults around us?
What if we had supportive friends and peers?
What if we had an adequate understanding of what is appropriate and inappropriate sexual behaviour?
What if we had the ability to assert ourselves verbally or physically to reject the abuse?
What if The Southport School had terminated the employment of the teacher who was abusing me after receiving multiple complaints from other students in the same year?
What if all survivors had a voice?
Surviving and sharing our stories isn't just about reclaiming our past—it's about forging a path for others to follow. It's about breaking the silence that has held so many of us captive for so long. It's about creating a world where the 'what ifs' can become realities, where survivors are heard, believed, and supported from the very start.
To my fellow group members, thank you for your bravery. Together, we are stronger. Together, we can turn our collective pain into power, our silence into a roar that demands change, starting with ourselves. Let's continue this journey, not just for ourselves, but for every survivor who has yet to find their voice.
“I can’t change what happened, but when I change the way, I look at it, I do CHANGE the way I experience it.”
Unknown
The Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse (2017) found that of the people who provided information about disclosure, 57% first disclosed as adults, with 43% disclosing during childhood. On average, it took victims and survivors of child sexual abuse 23.9 years to disclose the abuse to anyone. https://www.aihw.gov.au/
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